I think my life is more than a life-learning story than a disaster.

From primary school till now, I don't have much friends left.
The most affecting issue will be MY JC LIFE.

Let's begin my story.

My first three months class is P24 for which majority of class is girls.
I remember we have 5 guys, the rest girls - higher mother tongue class.
The first person i met here is JM. A nice and friendly girl, she said she is boyish but i felt that she is a gentle girl. We kind of QUITE clique. Slowly the class bonds - the chinese students has become a bigger clique and we named ourselves " yea stun pai "
Due to the fact that PC's quote is yea and CH's quote is stun.
haha. THis is the class that make me feel no boundaries and can let me forever forget the bad memories i had in the past. We have this female student which i dislike ...(due to jealousy) then i left her out of the class and i criticised her.

she and some of our class students left for others jc and poly.
The clique left only me, JM, HY, AG, FF. - four of us. There were 10 of us in the first place.
We were good classmates and friends. Through HY, I got to know B whom in turn become my BF. but due to misunderstandings, we broke up. Here comes the turnover for me- one day, i made JM angry. During lunch, they walk away first and as such i dun dare to sit with her so i sat with others. But before that i remember once they went off themselves, leaving me alone behind with no seats and so i have to sit with others.
That time my instinct had already told me" betty you have done something wrong again"
From that lunch onwards, we thus in one day we have become enemies.

Year 1 passes here comes year 2. This thing go on unsolved. I was wanting to salvage the relationship from that day till now.
The whole class hated me.
LL said she cant tolerate me anymore. SX clique just see me pathetic then "fu yan" me.
I remember yi jing say to seri : you cant tolerate betty de...

For the criticism i have put on others... i have received twice the amount of the taste which is equals to retribution. what comes around comes about.
i have learnt this lesson forever in my mind.

But in my life, JM and HY play a great part in my life. I even tried to salvage the relationship but i failed. There are the ones helped the most, JM helped me with my relationship matters and HY helped me in movtitate me to study. but soon i left them, my grades went down.

Now, i have worked for almost a year plus.. i have understand what i have gone wrong. I often speak wrong and offend others. if that day i didnt complained to the tutor- JM werent angry. IF i could sit with them and try apologizing or explaining to them, things werent be like that. Escaping must be the least thing to do while dealling with problems. Past is Past, what's done cannot be undone, A injury is caused and therefore a scar will be left. Lets move on but leaving this past as a lesson to be learnt and learn to change for the better.

May god bless JM coming A levels successful and HY university life and coming exams successful. and importantly health. haj la lu leh. Amen.

Warmes Regards,
Betty. :)

ok today was a tiring day, last night i couldnt sleep... flip around.. three o clock then sleep la! same timetable. same teachers. same subjects.

but ct period is abit of different. we have our SAF choir to perform for us! not bad sia. someone called charles know how to beat box. ms yap was sabo on stage. the guys sang a song for her! omg ! damn funny la. haha

jc ones went on obs. the other jc ones having holiday at home. WHAT ABOUT US ... mugging..

kind of feel weird w/o band prac.

betty:)
looking forward...

clarinet section( biggest section)
clarinetist plus ms luo and mr sim
with senior!
With MR SIM
US only!

let the photos tell the story!
To infinity and beyond.. !

betty:)
miss band lots.

saxophone section

percussion section.

OMG! PEOPLE WE GET A SILVER. IT IS A TOTALLY BREAKTHROUGH!!!

I totally ignore what co ppl says la. they think we are lousy. then be it.
we know we have done our best and it is the nicest we ever played!
WHOOSH! we are the yj winds in our hearts, one for all , all for one! jiayou!

we FEEL the achievements, we cried, we hugged, we cheered, we smiled.
we never give up! we persevere on....
our hard work paid off and gotten us a medal............

must thank you CLARINET SECTION, CLAUDIA, Mr Vincent Goh.
for the best of clarinet section. we sounded as one! haiz pity we did

thank you for ms lim and ms luo care and concern.
mr sim kai suah for the logistics.

lastly MR DARREN SIM, FOR THE BEST GUIDANCE AND TOLERANCE, PERSEVERANCE. he is forever our mr handsome!

betty
-tears of joy.

some photos below.

i completely love 200 pounds beauty. male and female lead super shuai and pretty!!! i cant help thinking of them even my phone is full of them. i have been thinking all this when i am sad or stressed. think of happy thoughts . .. this works!!

i am kind of worry for my section. is very especially for the solo. i wanna tok to her but i dun think she will listen to me. such a failure. she even says got leader mah? haiz i cant blame ppl who dunoe the stress of being a sectional leader. ... dun say le...

bear with it for one week plus and its gone. i am not a clarinetist After 19 may 2007. some sort of cant let go. i hold on to it for 6 years but seems that i am deproving ....... sound like a beginner. is more than that!! ya. i am a bad player. sometimes i make the sound worse. dun think i am goig to continue my clarinet anymore. i am not up to it. stupid me!

feel so sad for mr sim and ms luo.
how i wish we can get GOLD!

betty .
sadded.

i never have been so stressed out before not even in northbrooks band. is it because of the vicious cycle taking place. at the moment i step in yj band- it is pathetic but slowly it makes me a goal to strive better as a band. first is to convince ppl to join >> i remember how hard i try to persuade ppl to join. i tell ppl that we need to make a difference now. but it seems like i am less commited to it now. why ? maybe i not welcomed in band. being disliked. this is my vicious cycle. how hard and difficult to get rid of this route??

today i am damned sharp, clarissa and huixin damn flat! we crashed totally . how??? this problem i come about before. why cant i solve it!!! i am not the betty tht can play so well. in fact i am never a gd player. but i am getting from bad to worse. i am the section leader!!!!my skills are worse than other ppl !!drop to second my low notes cant make it! i am so sad. ppl asked me to not to give up and be determined. i try to be. some how ppl will just breakdown. i have been bottling things up in my heart. i think it is going to be burst anytime anywhere! and maybe the syf is the spark! somehow or rather i regret using DSA to get in JC.

i try to be strong. claudia said leaders have to be strong. i know. i never have cried in being yjc clarinet sectional leader. but i never wanna to be. becos i know i cant do a job of leadership especially comes teaching.

i am a failure. totally sucks off!

betty.
totally cannot make it! :(

Claudia today has said a nice speech. her speech touches me and really the vicious cycle of a few members cannot go on anymore. this SYF is critical to us and also at this point the standards rises. i am thinking what if we realli receive bronze. how is everyone going to look on us and how everyone in band going to bear with? i am totally cant bear with. i will cried. i see everyone hard efforts now and then. is their hard efforts going down to the drain or it is giving us something. YJ winds must get what it deserves and not what ppl expect us for! We are not longer the old yj college band. We are the ones going to make a difference to the band. so what our standard is so low , some ppl says only get silver or bronze la, cannot get gold de. NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE.

i hope to see the day we get a ..........

-betty
-totally stressed up -
take a gd time to listen to our syf choice piece.

YJC winds! jiayou!
for the sch pre syf concert!!!

We can make it!

betty-

long time didnt upload. it has been one month le. i am busy with band and studies la. band has extend their prac to thrice a week. so tired can. and a stack of hwk for me to complete. tutors love to give hwk over weekend as if we are so free. and their subjects is the only subject we are taking.

just gotten back my term two block test results. ok precisely i failed everything with A U grade. so ashaming la. i promise myself to get at least subpass for all. And now i failed. haiz i did study. i think i didnt study much la. quite sad. my parents are extremely disappointed with me. and my aim for next block test is to get all pass. ITS A MUST.

also today i get my project work results. I GOT A C! exactly i expected la.
i knew something has gone wrong with our WR. i feel so sad for yvonne. her speech is damn good! she should get a B. this is already a history we cant change.


SYF judging has rise to its standard. and this is the year whereby we rise our standards to get a silver or better. i am really feel scared and nervous. i dun wanna a bronze. it is to dismoralising. We should play for the music and is the music which brings us the medal . we should not play for the medal, its totally wrong!!! YJ winds has the ability to strive silver or gold. We are not of the standards of bronze. The sound is getting better. i saw things changing as the first step i took in yj band. with only 13 members , we have more than 50 member le.

i dun wish to let ms luo and teachers which has done so much for us. especially mr darren sim. i appreciate what he has done for us despite of what his band get. i could see his anger and sadness that day- wednesday, 11 april 07. although i feel i am a extra and transparent in band and i am not the S.L. that girl is the S.L. but i hope that YJ winds can attain a GOLD and brings the school, teachers, mr sim proud. We have pave a better route for the future generations.

-totally stressed up with band-
betty.

CAMPUS SUPERSTAR AUDITIONS FOR GIRLS is this saturday at toa payoh.

aiyo. i really dunnoe whether to join anot lei. i want fame and glory but i dun have the courage and confidence. my singing has gone down the standard. i cant hit the high notes la. My pitch is swaying. how? omg. i am seeing that i will rejected down the stage. haha and there TONS OF PPL WILL LAUGH AT ME. that is so funny can wahahahahahaha.

i really want to have a try of it. this year is my last year. i dun want to have regrets like last year. but i scared there is more problems coming out. haiz . i am glad to hear that yi jing and siok hwee will go down and support me. but somehow i think last min they will cant go. then in the end i go on my own. omg i can imagine the scene. oso scary.

i can imagine myself on stage. so nervous, my hands trembling. aiyo hope i dun make myself a fool out of it. my aim is to do my best out of it. MUST BE CONFIDENT AND STRONG. betty will never give up on her dream. and hope luck is on my side too.

looking forward to it. betty jiayou.
-biqi-

people says " its hard to be a human" its true. very hard. its all about prefection. But no one will have prefection. ur life is too beautiful. heaven will do something to make things not so prefect. for example, taking away ur favourites or making u suffer from a illness. From pri sch till now, i never have the feeling of having real frens. REal frens that u can really be trusted.

the world only really wants prefection. or else will there conflicts among ppl. haiz.
everyone got their flaws and their gd points. but oftenly ppl see their flaws than ur gd points.
i think i have done alot of bad things in the past. something called retribution is on me. not being superstitous. its really happen. what i treat ppl is coming to me. haha. kind of fake and no scientific backup.

thanks everyone. i have realised how hard to be a human. and how hard is to prefect. never easy. i congrats for those who have achieve prefection. i am ready always to accept lies and xu wei. thans for being xu wei. no one will like to hurt someone. i know what to do now is to avoid and avoid. i dun wish to carry on of what i am doing cos i dun see anypoint of it. no one can attain that prefection. i dun have peers, brains, face, body. now i want fame and glory.

thanks frens for being xu wei and cover it in a nice package. i know u all dun wanna to make me sad. but in the end got looopholes lei got ppl hinted out. i know that u all hate and dislike me. i know u all are saying things behind my back. haha wish me i could disappeared right. wahahahahahahaha. actually i knew everything is my fault. i bring everything on me why should i complain? nono i am not. SORRY FOR APPEARING AND INTERFERING IN UR LIFE.
i caused u alot of troubles. right haha. sorry that i have caused u all to do things against urself. i wasnt there then it will be prefect. i see prefection.

goh bi qi betty is dead in fact she never exists , never once.

lor.. haiz i am very fan now.. HOW WISH I CAN BE SICK NOW?

yesterday, i was working. came to the sercurity guard there and could not find my voucher, i was so scared and rush to the banquet office. ok i was working under the executive centre and no one told me la. change into a weird uniform la.. many ppl ask me whether i am working for hai tian long mah ..haiz.. i miss the people there when working at the 22nd floor..

the lift is scary sia.. and first floor to 22nd flooor very long sia.. i alone in the lift super scared la.. my mind is "faster reach lei" okay working at executive centre is super sian and relaxing la.. nothing much to do but slacking . i get to know REGINA, SULIA, NOEL. NOEL is a funny guy , anything dunnoe how to do just push to him can le. SULIA , a very kind person. both of them is trying to psycho me to talk to guests la. i dun even dare to approach them lor.. still ask me to talk to them .. girsl also face a greater problem.. the guests may prey on u lor.. SULIA is an example but i dun even care.. kang kang very worried sia. haha.

i get to see the FIREWORKS .SUPER NICE AND LOUD LA. HAHA.I LOVE IT.

when the clock is going to struck eleven . i was so excited.. get to see zai they all .again miss them sia..haha. o they today handle buffet la. and one of the girls kena molest.. haiz.. i ws kena chased out by kelvin ong la. wait for friends also cannot . lor.. i went home with yanjing.. JOSEPH give me a super weird expression sia . dunoe what he is thinking about sia. haha. kor kor funnny la... ask me to thank him .. lau... he himself kena .... by his gf.. i only can say sis is very li haiu.

erm.. my mind was only thinking about working in pan pacific while typing this la. i feel really happy in working pan pacific .. there are realli ppl there looking after u de. there are events managers like JACKSON, JOSEPH, KELVIN TAN,HONG QIANG, JEFFERY.. realli nice ppl and also ANGELINE AND PEI JUN ... LOR..

okay banquets.. I got PIN QI as my god bro... got YANJING, JUNMING, HONG JIANG, YI LAI, SI HWA, FANG YUN, MA LI, DAWN , ZAI, DONG YANG, WOON HONG, ALFRED... AND ALSO THE AUNTIES THERE, MY GOD MA..HAHA too much to mention and ALWI. sometime having fun during work , of course is after functions. haha... whee.. is time to be serious we will be serious . is time to have fun they go crazy .

but thinking of studying and band .. i feel very very sian. haiz dun say le..

oh! it is quite a long time i been coming to this blog! no la should be a week plus.
Working plus schooling- very tired. especially i am teased by the banquets and event manager lol. this busy week has gone la. super happy! whee!

lets go back to the last last thursday. ok that day... erm.. o that time is obs week. then coming to school is so sian la. all the super lame and sian programs lining up for us. Agnes and I decided to take early leave home. she got stomachache and I got sore eyes lol. HAHA. then why i bring my court shoes over, its heavy la. lol.

reach home le- feel very tired and hungry. but i didnt take a nap la, i went watching tv lor! till mummy comes back from home lor. well she bought FOOD for me. whoo! eat le and decided to sleep an hour and mummy bring darren to kkh for appt. starting i cant sleep la but eventually i fall asleep. in the end i woke up late and i am late for work lor. haiz! again i dun need to eat dinner again. stupid sian.

ok that day function is chinese dinner. some sort of business man thingy. i serve one to one... dawn and zai serve two to three. lol. seems very busy for them. AND I DO COCKTAIL and get to know JUNMING and KANG2. these two guys is super pro in handling trays. whoosh! the dinner took very long to start and we waited like going to be asleep le lor. super sian . THAT DAY IS SUPER BUSY.. ok i went to help dawn and junming in the end i left out my table lor. kena scolded by JEFFERY AND kena said by JOSEPH. LOL. HAHA.
next time must settle my things first lol.

next is friday. that day pacific only got 4 ppl working. that is ME, KANG2, YAN JING, JUNMING. working is never so fun without the 4 of us lol . i think we make the best team la. super nice. ok got two rounds of buffet lor then must set up tables... lau super tired. we work till one and the supper begins at one la. junming and i was released at one thirty but we didnt catch the bus and went back to tell manager. ok kena scolded lor. haiz we are sent home by managers. kang2 horx! keep saying me lor.. we are innocently pulled as couple lor. haiz. stupid.

continue at next post. betty

MY WHOLE BODY IS ACHING TODAY LA.
because i went for work yesterday.

wake up in the morning and went to the hairdresser with mummy. we went around shopping in chong pang and also ate our lunch at chong pang. erm. darren stay alone at home , he dun wanaa to come la. aiyo!

we will damn at school, around 1400. erm went to the ladies and later to the hall. wait and wait and wait, ms tay haven come. so mr tan request to see us first . o he was glad that i passed my chinese lit block test, WHEEE! i have made great improvement.. i will continuing working hard and get a A. But he is leaving soon for further studies, he wanna to get his master degree. We can only bless him for better future. i wonder how i am going to survive without him, he is the one that motivates me on moving. haiz i need to be independent. YES!

ok ms tay came in at 1500. she talks to us for 20 mins la. then my mum and i took taxi and rush home. ok i was late for work i left at 1600.late late.

i was rushing at there, my hair not done, i haven wear my contacts lenses. i was scolded by mr BALA. so paiseh. erm... haiz. luckily kelvin gave us some time for eating dinner.

my first impression is always spoiled .haiz . like what pei jun says - talking skillls is very important , i need to change within a short period. jiayou. ! ok it was my first time serving food la. i did badly. that partner didnt tell me wat to do lor. but i did wrong ly is his fault( not i says de is the manager says de). blame on my clumsiness. haiz. he never serve his table first lor before helping his girlfriend. in the end i helped him serve, the proportion was wrong la. ok. i should reflect on my mistakes. ya correct. it is at the ocean ballroom. super cram.tong ding si tong "

went home so late at 0230 becos of the bus la. the 857 doesnt come so we need to take the hotel transport. and the 1230 bus was packed so we need to take the 0130 de haiz.

tired day . my legs are numb.

betty.
i am pan pacific.

well band prac is sian and fast today . we went tothe assembly grounds to play the school song and national anthem .we wil at the second floor. kinda weird rite . iwonder how the sound travels to the audience. we went back band room to play second suite in F and seventh night of july. erm..got free dinner from choir. kina tired so make this a short one.

i fail my block test with only passing 2 subjects - maths and chinese.
going to see ms tay - bio tomorrorw
tomorrow working whee got my first pay le.

i need to tong ding si tong le. haiz
betty:(

this is my training day at PAN PACIFIC HOTEL. whoosh! so nervous . but then we are late . but there are ppl who skip and later than us . Our trainer was TOm .

ok first thing that irritates was MY NAME WASNT IN THE LIST. then i have to write again.
second thing was the hotel is a maze. Especially the head department. i have gotten mixed up where to go la.. so messy. third thing the training was so sian and strict la. Seriously TOM looked a bit serious and strict. A bit scared of him. erm.. after 4 hours of theory, we get to change and have our hands on . heex. pity is we didnt get to eat our dinner.

we changed and gather outside the office for pei jun . ok she checked our dressing . my makeup was like so crazy and my shoe keep coming out la. we moved to the PACIFIC room and was instructed by jeffery, kenneth and... My partner was IVY and KHAIZUL. both of them are friendly and nice. my first attempt of pouring the tea FAILS.. so sad la. but my FIRST ATTEMPT ON THE HOLDING THE TRAY WITH DRINKS WAS SUCCESSFUL.
ok i am so happy.

ppl start comming in and i helped to serve the guests, kind of ma fan and pai seh. but i used to it. the wedding starts.. my partners starts to get busy. me too, serving drinks and clearing soil plates. how i wish to portion the food but i am a trainee afterall. haiz must wait. my legs starting to get numb and tired. o dawn was feeling dizzy and was helped to the office and she was offered with a hot chocolate. so nice, pei jun talks damn loud sia. the groom looked so old than the bride. ppl guessed the birde married him for money .. i not too sure.


o it was ten o clock , we ended ur training. I AM SO SHAG AND TIRED. went to eat supper with the rest. changed and went straight home. well tomorrow got school. legs are aching.

betty:D
i am pan pacific

whoosh! do u noe today is full moon. and it is our jcs farewall party la . it is so much of concidence. haha.


started with the meeting of some band members.. there were xinglin, nadia, lala, guanyu, and me.. shannon came late .. but sylvester is the most ridculous de.. he came like 45 mins late.. the reason was his mum wants him to wash fans before going out...oh he is so guai la.. that is my papa. we went there taking 31 frm toa payoh. quick fast la. then we went to meet at qabir at parkway parade mac.ok qabir stay in east coast la.. gd for him.haha.

we are at our pit and marcus was the first one to reach.. ok it is so unexpected. he always came late and he forgot to bring the letters for the jc twos that he wrote with so much effort. ok. hahax. slowly chun howe came. the food and stuff came ..and we start our fire.. starting our fire aslo got alot of funny jokes come out la... this is our band. next coming up is ms luo, fazil, lionel and suzanne. cooking with our food now.. ms luo left us so early la.. but after debbie came. ms luo didnt eat much. starting no more eat but drink and the guys went for soccer mah.. they are crazy for world cup la.. xing xing is damn crazy with portugal.. la. and today got portugal match fighting for third and fourth placing..wonder he can wake up at three am anot. erm.. i was cooking in the first place then weisheng came. thus weisheng was doing the satays.

then ms luo went rushing off to njc concert.. she bun seh us la...mr darren sim.. he seems to be very busy.. he didnt come la.. so sian.. next ,i debbie ailing grace syafiah was sitting near the sea toking and looking at the sea.. it was high tide sia the waves look so strong and scary. mr sim kai suah came .. the funny thing was he came and left after ten minutes. kinda funny la . then is time ppl giving out presents and stuff.. wha GRACE gave me a cloth with my name and a very cute keychain with my name and instrument. so nice and touched. ailing gave me a letter. guanyu and weisheng left early. marcus and chun howe went to send off their classmate to jakarta

halfway through , jenny and melissa came. they gave me a letter and a chopsticks ..so special and unique. oh i was damn touched la. heex. martin , sam and christelle came when we are like going to pack la.. but there is still food. khai has to bring the remaining food home. well thanks khai.
haha. after that i qabir, lionel and suzanne play poker cards and i won.. haha. i lost the second game. oops.

home sweet home. kris, sam lionel, marin, jenny , melissa stayed back. have a good talk with papa on the bus way back. very tired but very glad .. glad that it didnt rain and things went off smoothly. well, yj winds whoosh! yjc winds ensemble rocks.

"Ah, music. A magic beyond all we do here!"
J.K Rowling

betty:)
i miss all seniors in band. gd luck for ur "A" levels.
____________________________tired , broke.

today band prac was realli funny la. with the presence of lionel and martin la. they seems like anyhow hitting the drums.. but can see they put in effort..well lionel just learn today and martin just learn the second time. quite good start.. after some jokers left ,..the band came another few jokers . la.. jiayou. the band is starting to have the sound .. more . haiz mr sim didnt come today .
i finally can play the second suite first movement. damn happy. damn proud .. and also the jc twos presents is almost done.. yea.. whoosh!

the band tee design and the class tee design is settled by today.. so happy.. yipeee.
i am looking forward to the jc two s farewall and my job training.. i am so anxious la...
heex. i am tired .. having pe and band today is reali tired. shag! planning to sabo xing xing..
weisheng today says he wanna go for mahjong session becos he wanna recoup his losses. then band prac.. funny la... we are planning to cook at 7 so that marcus leaving with an empty stomach .. hhax. just joking. i must sabo marcus tomorrow.

band rocks.. we will get an silver next year or maybe gold haha.
keep up the yjc band spirit.

tired.. broke..
betty:)